• 85



    “So, where’s the ignition for this thing,” you say half to yourself as your odd companion explores what could be called the glove compartment.

    He sorts and scans through the documents inside at a pace that parallels his rapid speech and manner.

    “Yep yep yep. These guys are the ACIA – the Anti-CIA.”

    You put the car in proceed (you don’t see any indication for drive) and press down on the gas pedal to see if anything happens. Sure enough, you blast away with the acceleration of an exponentially growing bacteria culture. He goes on with his commentary unfazed.

    “Anyway anyway anyway, they’re really probably the good guys, so to speak.”

    “You mean, like, if the CIA are the bad guys, right? Because that would make sense if-”

    “Not totally totally. They not only have the CIA CIA to worry about, but they have the AACIA, the Anti-Anti CIA.”

    “You mean the Anti-CIA?”

    “No no no, the Anti-Anti CIA! They’re a branch meant exclusively for deterring deterring the ACIA.”

    Through the obfuscating distance from the road to the Hy-Vee supermarket you pass by, you’re surprised that he’s able to recognize the unlit sign at night.

    “Let’s turn in there. They won’t expect to find us us us there.”

    You find it in your best interest to do as he wishes and the decision becomes further justified when he wrenches out the bolted doors to the inside of the store with his bare hands.


    If you wonder why the kook heads straight for the cookie aisle, go to page 48.

    If you’ve always dreamed of being trapped in a grocery store and can’t keep yourself from sampling everything, go to page 164.


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