• 181

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    http://yaddlezap.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/181-Jose-Amnesia-The-Eternal.mp3|loop=yes

    Although the salesman acts a little reluctant in securing this particular trade-in, before you know it, you’re strapped into your very own Selenium 5600 jetpack! Within minutes of a few cautionary sentences from the vendor (you didn’t really feel the need to listen to specifics) you’re up, up, and away like a bullet train to Heaven.

    After a few minutes of getting the knack of maneuvering, you want to try slowing the pack down and then landing. However, at each failed attempt to decelerate or even shut off the pack, you become increasingly worried that you’re going to be in mid-air until your fuel runs out. But even this expectation, after almost ten hours off the ground, runs its course and you begin thinking about what to do next.

    “If the pack never runs out of power, am I going to die of thirst?”

    At this speed, the impact against any body of water would probably result in an encounter less friendly than a visit to the water cooler, so you wait until sleep takes its course. Your unconscious body does a much poorer job of keeping you out of harm’s way while travelling at 75 mph. At least you died in your sleep.

    The Smashing End.

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