• 164



    Your day so far has been just as plausible as a David Icke conspiracy theory so you decide to stick with the trend. Nothing is off limits. You mix wines and vodkas. You sprinkle crumbs of the pineapple upside-down cake into the lobster tank to see if there are any takers. You take a bite out of some starfruit (pretty gross, you discover).

    And when the glee of your inner-child pulls you down the cereal aisle, you know precisely what you want here – a treasure hunt. But which contest? Maybe not so unbelievably, fate has placed an answer before you. According to the promotion, only in one, single box of King Vitaman dwells The King’s Lost Decoder Ring™. The words “Lost Decoder” skip on something in the groove of your mind’s voice, as if the lunatic were repeating the phrase.

    In no time at all, a majestic mini-mountain of King Vitaman has formed on one side of the aisle thanks to your digging initiative. Your hopes almost die out when you get to the last box until you realize there might be more back in inventory. Because he’s so much taller, you get your lunatic friend to reach up high on a ladder for the last remaining pack of boxes in the back room.

    “Is is is is is…” he gets stuck on this one for some time, “Is this what you’ve been looking for?” he holds up the ring between his fingers after plunging his hand to the bottom of a box. An alarm goes off almost as if it were in response to the discovery.

    “Uh-uh-uh-oh. Now we’ve done it.”


    Go to page 183.


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