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    http://yaddlezap.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/143-Unsolved-Mysteries-Animal-Collective.mp3|loop=yes

    metallurgical furnace, orthodera ministralis, Eyjafjallajökull – you’re surprised at how much they’re able to fit on these little Necco hearts. They eventually lead you around the side of the landmark where a bingo game is underway. The players are using the hearts as space markers. You sit down at a board and you don’t have to throw in any money to play.

    “So what are we playing for then?,” you ask around you.

    All of them, even the small children, don’t say a word and simply point your line of sight in the direction of the landmark’s plateau. It turns out the game is trivia-bingo, so you can only place a piece if you answer the question right. The question involves an integral from 0 to 386 and you use what calculus you had in college to answer it correctly. When you start looking for the location on your bingo board to place your piece, you notice that the choices are even larger than the maximum size of an Excel spreadsheet, many powers of numbers by many powers of numbers, and now you really wonder why everyone’s playing. You search around for the voice reading off the location (which is taking a long time to read, XOZ347665EE at 3Maby♒…) and the source of the voice turns out to be a giant eagle.

    Another part of the eagle, maybe its astral form, separates itself from the physical eagle and addresses you, “I am Wanblee…” You expect him to end with “…and you’re on Candid Camera!” the way his voice sounds.

    Instead, you’re transported to the summit of Devil’s Tower to take a look at the prize awaiting the bingo champion. So frightening was the experience that all you can do to ever delay seeing it again is to play out the rest of the bingo-trivia…delaying…forever…

    The End!

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