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    Not knowing that STELAR stood for Space Targeting Equipment and Launching Attack Response or that I-HAWK stood for Improved-Homing-All-the-Way Killer, you went ahead and followed the instructions.

    “It’s away,” the AIO confirms while looking down at the blinking device in your hands.

    A rumbling begins, like a train gradually getting closer. Bits and pieces are heard, and then observed, to be falling away from Chimney Rock.

    What happens next is more surreal to you than your previous vision during sex – a penis, a size wider and taller than the tower of rock that crumbled in its wake, stands potently erect. It’s bizarrity, ironically, lessens a bit when the purple penis is confirmed to have a purple host-body, although a body not too much larger in proportion.

    Really, you think as you cock your head in marvel, Jack Kirby couldn’t have drawn him better.

    “Y’know, I really doubt he’s going to find anywhere useful to put that thing,” you tell the operative who’s still observing the event without an expression.

    “This life-form does not procreate in the manner you’re assuming. The ‘sperm’ from his penis takes on a more literal role of seed, in which the alien has intercourse with a fertile hole in the ground. This would effectively bring about the long-awaited Lost Dakota, a repopulation of the alien race prophesied by certain phallus-worshiping Native American tribes.”

    “Oh,” is all you can respond with before the homing missile appropriately targets the defiant, counter-jousting penis, engulfing everyone in a fiery explosion of bizarrely sexual death.

    The End.

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