• 131

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    The amount you accrue is just enough for something you’ve been wanting to do to commemorate your little adventure three years ago. You’ve always sighed with desire over the idea of being able to name a star after someone. So when that Star Registry service turned out to be a scam, you decided you’d take matters into your own hands by lobbying all of the big international institutions to launch a campaign attacking Big (Astronomical) Science as a cartel by not letting consumers compete with bids for star names. Turns out that the campaign is a great success and heartily supported by certain cosmological organizations looking to fund projects through this new source of revenue.

    Anyway, you decide to pick a galaxy instead of a star, UDFj-39546284, now the Lost Dakota galaxy, one of the farthest detected objects in the universe. As a present, you also decide to name a relatively nearby star, HD119796, after your fateful companion Mehitable. You locate and then knock her door one day to present her with the gift in person.

    “Helwo.” A small child has answered the door.

    “Hello there! What’s your name?”

    The child answers confidently enunciating the yellow syllables on his pink, souvenir-shop sweatshirt.

    “DA-KO-TA!”

    The End.

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