• 123

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    “I’ll give the hovercraft a go.”

    On the condition that the salesman knows you can handle it properly, it’s yours.

    Once you get in the driver’s seat, it’s everything you know a hovercraft should be, not some pansy over-sized pair of fans that only work over water. This particular craft was designed to go smoothly over flat, solid terrain, which is perfectly suited for the road and any cropless off-road land. And at the first sign of a suspicious car following behind, you take advantage of that very capability by making a sharp right turn off of an undivided highway.

    You begin to make your apology to the salesman in the passenger’s seat, but he seems to have vanished without notice. Your drive officially turns into a chase when the vehicle follows you off the highway, but you can tell your maximum speed isn’t going to cut it. Luckily, a farm is just ahead and you make use of its obstructions in your getaway. The vehicle behind you is closing in when you aim for what looks like a giant pit of mud, hoping that your pursuer might get mired.

    “Oh wow! That stinks like shit!” you yell out loud.

    Pig manure is more accurate and your hovercraft can’t maintain its hover capabilities for long over the viscous, rough terrain. Once your hovercraft hits the surface, it’s like quicksand. Waiting for the animal muck to swallow the rest of your head, you think maybe it was all an elaborate plan that involved the emporium.

    The End.

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